I’m curious to hear a parent’s perspective on this. As I’m winding down my final days/hours of being the nurse at COTP (if you didn’t get the news, check out the previous blog post) I have been able to gather my thoughts a bit about things. When I worked in the hospital as a nurse, the cause for each patient’s admission was almost always clearly known. They needed a new knee or they fell and broke their hip. The associated pains and discomforts were more or less expected and it was my job to follow the doctor’s orders, explain things to the patient, and help them feel as comfortable as possible. No one questioned whether I, their nurse, had caused them to fall and break their hip or cause wear and tear on their knee for the last 60 years. That would be ridiculous.
But now, and parents, I want you to tell me if this is how you feel about your own children, if a child is sick or injured, I somehow feel guilty for it, that it’s my fault they are not well. Wilson tells me all the time, “Sheila, you didn’t make them sick, you are just here to help them get better.” But am I not here to keep them well in the first place? When a volunteer tells me a child has a fever, I feel like I am being scolded because I am not doing my job. I find myself becoming defensive because I ought to be taking better care of them. Is this even a little bit normal?!
My challenge in all of this is to give everything, whether I am working as a nurse or not, to give everything into God’s hands. I could rattle off some Christian-y thoughts like “God is the great physician” or “He is sovereign,” “He will never give you more than you can handle.” But I am just trying to figure out practically, and in my own heart and mind, what it means to put my faith in Him and let go of all the rest.