An adoption perspective you may not usually think of.
A lot of kids have been joining their Forever Families this year, compared to only a few in my first year at COTP. Our three and four year olds watch as each of their friends start taking trips to Port Au Prince on airplanes, seeing photos of their families, and then meeting and going home with their mom and/or dad. Their innocent eyes plead into mine as they ask
“Do I have a mommy? Does J have a daddy? And F, does he have a mommy?”
I am relieved when these questions are asked of kids who are already matched with a forever family. I am heartbroken when they are asked of kids whose Forever Families we don’t yet know.
“Yes, you have a mommy”
is inevitably followed by
“I will go on an airplane with her?”
They will, eventually, go on a plane with their parents.
“Yes, but not quite yet.”
“After I’m done sleeping?”
“No, not tomorrow. You will sleep a lot of times and then she will come.”
Time is hard for kids to understand. Waiting. Today, I’s mom came to start a week of bonding before taking him home. We could not be more thrilled for the two of them! God has planned this day in advance and it is beautiful. At the same time, it is confusing to I’s friends. M doesn’t quite know what to think or do. He came upstairs and watched the short video his forever mom sent him about 12 times. He smiled when she appeared on the screen, he pointed out her glasses, he imitates his brother who does a little dance on the playground, he cuddles a little closer as we watch together.
Kids want to talk at the most random times. He waited until he was sitting on my toilet to ask me to wait inside the bathroom this time. A minute of silence followed by
“Is my mommy coming too?”
So we repeat the conversation. I’ve had it with so many of our kids so many times. I give M a big hug and he tells me he is my friend. We agree to play together while he waits for his mom to come on an airplane and carry him home.